Prenatal Bonding: Three Vital Aspects
Prenatal bonding includes the whole family, can start even before we’re pregnant and sets the stage for our baby’s whole life experience! According to Traci Gaffney, mother of three, Parenting Coach and creator of the “Who I Am” Energy Cards, the precious time our babies are within us is when we show them, by direct experience what the whole world will be like! How can this be? Well, at the very heart of it, our babies are at this point one with us: they are experiencing our highs and lows; they are experiencing every vibration and nutrient that runs through our body! We, as moms are their whole universe! And they do not expect the after-birth to be any different than their life now! Before we get too freaked out that every day of pregnancy has to be a perfect day; breath and remember that we may have rough days, we may even go through crisis, but it’s the chronic ideas about life that they are going to absorb from us, and it’s the way we deal with the things that pop up that we are already passing down to our children. No explanation necessary, just energy, vibration and example by osmosis!
Prenatal Bonding in Preconception!
So, what can we do? Because the baby is absorbing and experiencing life as we know it from the time they take up residence within us, it’s important to realize that prenatal bonding can even begin before we are pregnant! Pre-pregnancy is the time to think about who we really want our children to be, and live it within ourselves now! Are we in the physical shape that we want our baby to experience? Are we eating and drinking those things that we want our babies cells to be filled with? Are we surrounding ourselves with the people that we want our children to be like, and whose energy we want in contact with our precious little ones? Now is the time to clean house, mentally, spiritually and physically to be ready to welcome our babies to the best! And it’s not just about them, what we give ourselves, we will one day give our loved ones, so if we are not giving it to ourselves now, we won’t have it to give to our babies tomorrow! Also, as we make our way through preconception, another great aspect of prenatal bonding that can be brought in is communication, talking with our babies now, inviting them in and letting them know they are welcome. If we embrace God or the Universe, whatever Source calls to us, spend some time praying or otherwise opening the door spiritually to housing a new life. It is an honor, and it comes in it’s own time, but inviting it in and opening the doors to new life is another level of welcome and prenatal bonding!
3 Aspects to Prenatal Bonding During Pregnancy, According to Traci:
1. Creating A Peaceful Home For Baby
2. Creating The Relationship
3. Taking Care Of Yourself
Creating a Peaceful Home for Baby:
Traci says one of the most important aspects of prenatal bonding is creating a peaceful home for baby! “Peaceful home would be the feelings of mom, how does she get to that place of peace, because whatever she’s feeling the baby is feeling.” So what is it that brings us peace? It could be a long bath, or sitting out in the grass. It could be cleaning or just sitting still. The important thing is to continually ask ourselves and our bodies what they need because everyone gets nourished by different things! Traci admits that she needs an hour-long bath almost nightly and that meditation has been one of the most important tools in her basket to help her through motherhood! She also created the
"Who I Am" Energy Cards
to help moms (or anyone else) reconnect with their wholeness, and be able to reconnect with higher energy levels. What’s important is to look at what feeds us and to know that it’s important to feed our spirit: remember, we cannot give what we do not have ourselves!
Creating the Relationship:
In prenatal bonding another vital aspect is realizing that from conception baby is in us! We don’t have to wait until birth to “have” our babies or get to know them. The baby is here now, Traci says, “As soon as you know the baby is there, talk to it, touch it, include it… it’s the energy, they feel you loving them, and so they feel happy because they are responding to the connection.” Traci asks us to close our eyes and imagine that we are in a dark closet, our needs are met, but we are tapping on the door, and even though we hear voices out there, nobody responds, nobody taps back, nobody talks to us. No matter how much we move around or try to get somebody’s attention, there is nothing! And then one day someone opens the door, turns on the lights and throws a big party, but here we are going, “I’ve been trying to get your attention forever!” She says this is what she imagines it’s like for our babies, they are tapping, so take the time to respond, lay your hand on the part that’s protruding, maybe they want a massage, maybe they want to play, and maybe the need you to make a little more room! Trust your intuition, and most importantly include them by letting them know you’re aware of them and they are important to you!
Prenatal bonding isn’t just for mom and baby, the talking, touching and including is great for the whole family! Other kids can draw pictures of baby, or mom and baby and present it as a gift; they can touch the belly, talk to baby and start to include it in their day just as mom is! And it’s important that dads do the same thing, this way your energies already know each other after birth, you’re not really birthing a stranger, but someone everyone’s talked to and loved on! Another important aspect for dad to remember is that what’s affecting mom directly affects baby! So, if it’s been a long day, ask mom what she needs, anything that makes mom smile makes baby smile! Creating as many warm and fuzzies between moms and dads is a great way to create warm and fuzzies from baby to dad!
Taking Care of Ourselves:
The third important aspect of prenatal bonding is taking care of ourselves! This comes down again to the important fact that we cannot give what we do not have, this time with health! If we aren’t full of nutrients, our baby will take the little that we have, and then both of us are under-nourished and tired. If we don’t have the oxygenated cells from exercise, neither do our babies. If we do not have a way to release stress and become relaxed and peaceful, neither do our little ones. Prenatal bonding involves loving ourselves and our babies enough to eat lots of food close to its natural state, walking or breathing through
… or carrying on with our favorite exercise. Whatever is most fun and easiest for us to fit into our day is what we’ll do consistently, and consistency is key! It’s about realizing who and what nourishes us and gives us more energy, health and vitality and seeking out those things. And it’s about cultivating the positive mental energy that fuels our bodies and our vitality as well. The “Who I Am” cards are great for remembering the positive energy that we naturally are. But there are other ways as well, and when we open ourselves up to creating our own positive internal dialogue what we need easily falls into our laps. So set the intention, start to take steps towards it and see what miracles fall from the sky!
Prenatal bonding is extremely important not only for how are baby will come to experience the world during and after birth; but also because the habits we set in pregnancy and pre-pregnancy are the ones that are going to act as our natural crutch through parenthood. The three aspects of prenatal bonding that Traci mentions: creating a peaceful home within ourselves, creating the relationship and taking care of ourselves are all vital to bringing joy to our own lives and the lives of our little ones; these are the crutches that we want to lean on and gain strength from! It is never too late and never too early to start developing these qualities within ourselves, for us and our babies and our families!
Prenatal Bonding Interview with Traci Gaffney