Period After Miscarriage
The first period after miscarriage can be an uncertain and emotional time. Our bodies have restarted the cycle of building up and cleaning out, and this first period isn’t always like our “regular cycle”. It can come on time, or it can come much later. It can be quite normal, for us individually, or it can be totally different. If we normally have cramps, we may not this time. If we normally bleed lightly, we may bleed more heavily… get the idea? It can be all upside down or the same! Give yourself a break and don't plan on it being one way or another.
If any of you have read The Red Tent, I encourage you to think about this first period after miscarriage in a similar fashion. For those of you who haven’t read Anita Diamant’s incredible book, let me give you a brief description: every month at the full moon, the women would go off together to bleed together in "The Red Tent". To talk about what was going on in their lives, to be waited on by elder women who had quit bleeding, or younger girls who had not yet started bleeding. They sat on the earth and bled back into the earth. They were catered too, they gabbed and got a break from their duties. They gave back their blood to the earth and thus were renewed by the time with the earth.
I know many of us live in cities, and generally don’t have the “time”, inclination or outside support to make this happen. But this first period after miscarriage (and from my experience many periods after miscarriage...depending on how long you decide to wait to conceive again) deserves our respect, it deserves our kindness and support. Here are a few ideas to help us honor the sacredness, and the transition that the first period after miscarriage represents. (I also recommend the
coping with miscarriage article to help honor ourselves.)
Embrace the "PMS"
First we can practice embracing this time, depending how far along we were when we miscarried, or how connected we already felt to the baby, preparing to meet our first period can be quite an emotional time, much more than "normal"
We can notice those “PMS” symptoms, like moodiness and crankiness that come up and look beneath the surface. I was particularly moody one day after my 12-week miscarriage, when it was like the lightbulb turned on and I thought, “it’s about time for me to start my period!” Sure enough I looked at my calendar and it had been exactly 30 days since my miscarriage. I was overdue according to my "regular" cycle, and I was sure my body was preparing to cleanse. “PMS” is actually showing us truths; it is our refusal to look at these truths that causes many of the “symptoms of PMS”.
Talk to Our Bodies
The second thing we can do is to encourage our bodies to have a period after miscarriage. After I realized it was the emotions coming up from my body preparing to start my period, and me emotionally resisting and wanting to deny this truth (and skip the experience), I started talking to my body, rubbing my belly and uterus (with coconut oil and olive oil) and letting it know that I was so happy with how well it did it’s job. I wasn’t lying, even though we didn’t still have the baby, I was quite impressed with how my uterus grew a baby and then knew when and how to cleanse itself and the baby out so efficiently.
Embracing our bodies work instead of pushing it away is important, especially when our inclination might be to push the period away because we still want to be pregnant. It was the very next morning that my period started.
When you talk to your body, I encourage you to keep it authentic, be honest. Find whatever nuggets of truth you have and whatever ways you have of thanking your body for it’s past work and continued efforts. Let it know that it’s okay to start the first period after miscarriage; in it’s own time, whenever it’s ready (if you’re comfortable with this). The body hears and believes and obeys, so be mindful of what you say.
Watch Our Dreams
And finally, watching our
just before our period after miscarriage can be a powerful time as well. Actually I find my dreams are much more clear every month just before my period, as if my higher self is giving me lots of good stuff that it too wants to clean out. We can journal our dreams, and notice anything that’s coming up repeatedly to help us see our way through this journey. I usually write a few pages every morning, and nearly half of that is always a record of my dreams. Sometimes I get the point, sometimes I don’t, but in watching them, I have had several prophetic dreams, including one of an upcoming pregnancy, and many dreams clarifying my fears and desires.
Wherever you are on your journey to your first period after miscarriage, I encourage you to be gentle and nurturing to yourself and your body. Whether or not you’ll be
trying to conceive
again anytime soon, I encourage you to do this each time you embrace a new period. Complete healing takes letting go and embracing what is.
Period After Miscarriage to Miscarriage Main Page.
Period After Miscarriage to Menstruation Main Page.