A Miscarriage Letter to Baby

Miscarriage can be such a difficult time, first in knowing if it’s the body cleansing the baby, or just a little bleeding. Then the wounds it can leave behind can be large and spread poison if not dealt with.

It was a bit more than a month after my miscarriage that I decided to write a letter to my baby and to myself. Here is the one to my baby, I was so sad in writing it, I had woken up with our little one on my mind and decided to sit down right then. But writing it freed me, it let me cry it out and release all the uncertainties and grief. The letter was a gift in my healing journey, so I want to share it with you.

If you’ve experienced a miscarriage, I encourage you to write letters to whoever you have something to say too. Anger, sadness, love, joy… at your time together, at how others responded, at how you treated yourself… all these things are wonderful to express in the letter. And keep the letter for yourself, or if you prefer you can burn it as a way to release the energy. But don’t send it! It’s for you, it’s for your healing and your journey!

The Letter

Dear Baby,

I was so sad when I started to see blood. I was so excited to be creating with you – and so sad to see you go. It was right when the wedding was going on and I felt crampy and was trying to rest for you – I wanted to keep you so much! I wondered if I’d done something wrong, if I hadn’t deserved you. I wondered if I couldn’t grow a baby. I was afraid, and Jean-Paul was sad too. He didn’t believe me when I told him I thought we’d had a miscarriage… he wanted you to be here with us too! I’m just crying and I’m so sad.

I went and got a massage a few days after it was all done, I needed some pampering. My friend told me you were still with me and that it was just that the body you’d started wasn’t going to be enough for all you wanted to get done. I was excited to hear that you were still near.

It’s hard as a mother to know that children are spirits that need to make their own choices for what’s best for them. But I honor your choice and when you’re ready, I’d like to see you come again into me. To create with me, grow in love with me, to learn with me… come enjoy a gentle pregnancy – I will nourish you and move you about. Jean-Paul and I will love you. I look forward to my belly protruding with you in me!

We’ve got amazing fresh food and we’ll do yoga and walk in the mountains. We will learn together how to support ourselves on the land and manifest easily that which desire. I will give you the best of me and sometimes I might get upset, but you will always be loved.

Come soon, come and meet us in the physical! Jean-Paul, Emilie, Antoine and me, we are your family and we await you with open, loving hearts. Joy fills me at the thought of you. Love and blessings, and welcome in your own time. I love you.

Namaste (the light in me, bows to the light in you)

Your mama,

Ashley

To Miscarriage Letter to Myself.

To Miscarriage Main Page.