Birth Stories: Laura's Dream Guide Through Natural Miscarriage and Birth
Birth Stories: Laura
Note from Ashley, the Creator of Love Natural Birth: I am so grateful to Laura for sharing her stories with me, her story personifies how our dreams and our intuition can act as our guide. Hers took her through two natural miscarriages and two natural births... and they indicate an upcoming addition to the family circle. Laura, we grieve with you for your losses and we look forward to hearing about your upcoming beautiful blessing as well!
Laura's Birth Stories Begin
I do firmly believe that I do know myself best. I always seem to have deep understanding of myself, at least during pregnancy. My first miscarriage in 2002 was at the age of 30, I wasn't trying for pregnancy and the day after I found out I was pregnant, I knew deep down it would not go to term, in fact I knew it would be a blighted ovum. I never had one symptom with this pregnancy, which just didn't feel right. Four weeks later my Dr. confirmed what I already knew and I miscarried naturally the next day. It was physically and emotionally painful and I was desperate to be pregnant again.
We waited one year to start trying and we were pregnant the very first try. I knew that it would be that month and two days before my pregnancy was confirmed I had a dream, I was in a store with all these women holding baby boys and I had no baby in my arms, when I woke up I knew I was pregnant and it would be a girl. Nine months later I delivered my daughter.
The pregnancy was completely natural; I took nothing not even a Tylenol. I only took prenatal vitamins and organic tea. The labor was 22 hours, but I can honestly say relatively easy, don't get me wrong there was pain, but I knew I could do it. She had some breathing issues after delivery so my husband and one of my midwives took her to the hospital, while I recovered at the birthing home. I was surprisingly calm, but I just knew she would be all right. She remained in NICU for 7 days just for safety, but she was fine, she was 8 lbs. 15 oz. with a great deal of brown fat, and she had some healthy lungs, she could scream the house down. Ha! Ha! The nurses called her Madison the Moose! Even with the hospital scare the birth was wonderful.
In December of 2007 at the age of 35, I found out I was pregnant again, and again two days before the pregnancy was confirmed I had a dream about finding an infant boy and being so maternally protective of him, that's how I knew I was pregnant and it would be a boy. Nine months later in August of 2008 we had our boy Rhys. The birth again was all-natural, this time labor was only 3 1/2 hours long, but far more intense. The birth was beautiful, we had him at the birthing home at 11:50 pm, we stayed the entire night, my husband and I lying in bed with our son, luckily we did not need the hospital. He was 9lbs. 3 oz. and a lot of brown fat!
In May of 2009 we had already been trying for a third, (I always felt I was to have 3 children), I had my dream again 3 days before the pregnancy was confirmed, but this dream was about me telling my husband we were pregnant then telling him later I had miscarried.
Well, after that I knew I was pregnant before the test told me, however I also felt that I would never see this baby to term. I had my normal severe pregnancy symptoms, as like with both my other children, this pregnancy was actually most like my daughters, which led me to believe the baby was a girl. At my 12-week appointment I just felt something wasn't right, even though there was no indication there was something wrong. When my midwife went to check the heartbeat, I just knew she wouldn't find it, she said don't panic, we'll send you for an ultrasound in two days, she said with the pregnancy symptoms and the fact I was already 12-weeks, the chances were slim anything was wrong.
The next day I spent my day changing my closet over to maternity clothes, all the while thinking it was a big mistake, that night I started spotting, I told my husband and said, I knew it, and I began to mourn. The next morning the ultrasound confirmed the baby stopped developing at 10.5 weeks, I was devastated, but not surprised. I asked the tech for a picture of the baby, she looked at me as if I were crazy, but that was my baby and her picture is in my baby album along with my other children, I will not pretend she didn't exist.
My miscarriage has been mild; I am surprised, by it. It's been drawn out over several days of very mild cramping and passing of clots and tissue. I honestly believe my body miscarried in a way where I was still able to take care of my children, my husband had to work several long days in a row and we have no family near us, so I am alone a good 14 hours a day with the children. If anything severe had happened I would never have been able to care for them. I am healing with the help of my wonderful husband and my two children, but I still mourn the baby that will not be.
I mentioned my dreams; I had one more that I hadn't thought about until after I found out I would miscarry. A month before I had found out I was pregnant, I had a dream, I was at my birthing home with both my children and I was a good 8 months pregnant, I was telling someone there I can't believe this will be my fourth baby. When I woke up from the dream, I thought, there is no way I'm having 4 children and if that was my 4th where was my 3rd baby? She wasn't in the dream only my 2 children were. Well at the time I just dismissed the dream, until now, when I realized my 3rd only made it to 10.5 weeks. I know that this was my third baby, my first miscarriage never developed a baby, and I know that we are meant to have our 4th.
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